Ron Tutor Lists "Tudor" Style Estate in Hidden Hills

SELLER: Ron Tutor
LOCATION: Hidden Hills, CA
PRICE: $18,900,000
SIZE: 19,107 square feet, 10 bedrooms, 13 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: California-based construction tycoon Ronald Tutor made residential real estate headlines back in September of 2008 when he dumped a heart-stopping $32,200,000 for a not yet completed 27,000 square foot mega-mansion in Los Angeles' Beverly Park community, the mother ship of über-luxe and excessively ostentatious guard-gated communities stuffed with boo-teek hotel sized houses that line deadly quiet, and traffic free streets.

To give the children some idea of the sort of big bizness Mister Tutor conducts, one of Mister Tutor's construction companies, Tutor-Saliba, has over $15,000,000,000 in completed construction and engineering projects that include the Wynn Encore at Wynn Las Vegas, the BART extension to San Francisco International Airport, the Hyperion Wastewater Treatment Plant, and the new and improved Jamaica Station in New York City.

Mister Tutor's colossal new crib inside the gates of Beverly Park sprawls across its four and a quarter acre site that is sandwiched between the 7 bedroom and 12 pooper property of Emmy, Golden Globe and Screen Actors Guild nominated actor Paul Reiser–always a bridesmaid, never a bride–and two-time Oscar winning actor Denzel Washington's 28,887 square foot real estate beast. Mister Tutor's massive manse must be ready for occupancy–or close to–because big-living construction tycoon has put his current residence in Hidden Hills, CA on the market with an asking price of $18,900,000.

Property records show Mister Tutor's current residence, located in the swankiest section of Hidden Hills called Ashley Ridge, sits on 3.39 manicured acres and measures an elephantine 19,107 square feet. From the looks of things, Mister Tutor bought the property back in February of 1993 for $4,025,000, but honestly chickens we're not 100% sure of that. Listing information for Mister Tutor's "Tudor" style estate in Hidden Hills indicates the multi-winged main house with its rather dubious day-core includes a master suite with his and her closets, 6 additional bedroom suites, private guest quarters, and 2 full staff apartments. Altogether, according to listing information, there are 10 bedrooms and an unlucky 13 terlits, a situation that just might freak out any superstitious gals hired to polish the home's poopers.

The mammoth mansion's main entry is through a baronial, double height entrance hall with mottled, honey-colored marble floors, stone lined arches that would be better suited to a castle, a couple of settees with tiger-striped cushions, a couple of crystal chandeliers–natch, and a staircase that splits in two half-way up in order to direct resident and guest traffic into the various upstairs wings. To one side of the entrance hall, a window-lined and stone-floored living room has paneled walls painted with a glossy Chinese red lacquer, a gold–or maybe bronze–leafed ceiling, and heavy swagged drapery that look to Your Mama's snarky little pea brain like they were inspired by a damn Antebellum hoop skirt. The home's haphazardly eclectic and questionably decadent day-core reaches its screaming peak in the banquet hall sized dining room with its hive inducing rose colored wall to wall carpeting, fireplace, built-in china hutches, gargantuan inlaid wood table, black lacquer Chinoiserie-style cabinet, more Antebellum hoop skirt drapery, and, directly above the dining room table, a most upsetting oval ceiling inset hand-painted with an unfortunate mural depicting robe-clad ladees laying around a flowery garden, playing the lute and tossing ribbons in the air. Well, honestly sweet peas, Your Mama isn't sure that's exactly what the gals in the mural are doing, but that's what it looks like to our gin & tonic saturated eyes.

Anyhoo, other main rooms in the Tutor "Tudor" include, a vast family room with a vaulted and stenciled ceiling, a very long kitchen with a quarry's worth of granite counter tops and a coffered ceiling with what appears to be pinky-red suede insets, an 8-sided breakfast room with a spoke-beamed and stenciled ceiling, and an office/den that features a wood, coffered ceiling, a fireplace with an elaborately carved wood and marble surround, built-in bookshelves and, in a decorative move that makes our heart weep, blue wall to wall carpeting. Let Your Mama say that again, blue wall to wall carpeting. Lo-ward have mercy, what nice, gay decorator puts blue wall to wall carpeting anywhere anymore? Honestly, who?

A large "entertainment annex" sits across the huge motor court from the main house and is connected internally through a bridge over a porte-cochere that houses, we regret to inform, an arcade lined with pinball machines, video games, and a damn air hockey table. In addition to a wood paneled, convention center sized ballroom capable of hosting hundreds, adjacent his and her poopers, and a huge marble-floored outdoor entertaining terrace, the entertaining annex contains a kitchen sized wet bar, poker room, gym, guest house, and both of the staff apartments.

The elaborately landscaped grounds include a large pond with a small dock, sunken tennis court surround by a stone balustrade, an acre or two of unnaturally green grass, and a free-form swimming pool with a small grotto where the sunken spa has been installed.

Mister Tutor's "Tudor" happens to sit right around the corner from the 17,000 square foot monster manse it is widely rumored and reported that cantineros Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony are purchasing. Other nearby neighbors include Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne, a-list lezbeeuhn rocker Melissa Etheridge and her wife Tammy Micheals, former tweener heart throb Shaun Cassidy, those upsetting reality tee-vee denizens Jenner/Kardashians, and Lisa Marie Presley who has her multi-parcel property on the market at $12,000,000.

Records show that the Beverly Park behemoth isn't the only real estate deal real estate mogul Mister Tutor has recently been involved. In October of 2009, according to property records, Mister Tutor coughed up $13,200,000 for an elegant and recently rehabbed 1930s white brick Georgian the hoity-toity Holmby Hills area of Los Angeles. Some of the children may recognize the 9 bedroom and 9 pooper property as one of the many multi-million dollar mansions all the gossip glossies, tawdry tabloids and real estate gossips thought Jenleck–or whatever amalgamated moniker Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck are called in the tabs–were going to buy. This house, butter beans, was all did up and done over by beleaguered Beverly Hills house flipper John Bersci and was originally listed with a pipe dreamer's asking price of $27,500,000. Both Your Mama and real estate insider Eric Eavesdrop think this mansion, measuring a massive (and approximately) 12,000 square feet, was purchased for his upscale clothing boo-teek owning daughter Kristen Eberts who, also thanks to Eric Eavesdrop, we've learned has her Bel Air modern quietly on the market with an asking price of $8,495,000.

Again thanks to Eric Eavesdrop, Your Mama has learned that prior to purchasing the Holmby Hills house another of Mister Tutor's adult daughters also got a new, approximately 12,000 square foot house. Records show the 6 bedroom and 8 pooper white brick Monterey Colonial in the Brentwood area of Los Angeles was picked up for $13,524,000 and, Your Mama will note, is also one of the many mansions it was widely rumored and reported that Benjen were thisclose to buying. Your Mama isn't sure if the Garleck-Tutor real estate connection is mere coincidence or if the Tutor gurls and the Affners are pals who were just spending some time checking out each others new pads.

Kenny Chesney Buys Big Estate in Franklin

BUYER: Kenny Chesney
LOCATION: Franklin, TN
PRICE: $9,200,000 plus a little extra something to sweeten the pot
SIZE: 11,143 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 7 full and 2 half bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Yesterday, Your Mama received an unexpected and covert communique from a southern source we'll call Frannie Franklin who whispered in our big ol' ear that itty-bitty big hat wearing country music superstar Kenny Chesney has gone and bought himself a gigantic new mansion outside Nashville in Franklin, TN.

Mister Chesney, who plans to take a much needed break from touring the big stadiums for at least part of 2010, has more than 30 top ten singles including 17 songs that went to number 1, earned 9 Academy of Country Music Awards that include 4 Entertainer of the Year awards, 6 Country Music Awards including 4 Entertainer of the Year awards, 7 Country Music Television awards, a couple of Billboard Music Awards, sung his heart out at the White House, was married to squinty-eyed actress Renee Zellweger for about 42 seconds, dated a former Miss Tennessee USA in 2009, and recently launched a got-damn line of clothing. Lo-ward have mercy, it just makes us dog-ass tahrd just to think about how bizzy Mister Chesney must be and Your Mama and Mac-Donalds both think the twangin' titan deserves a damn break.

Anyhoo, according to Frannie Franklin, Mister Chesney recently completed the purchase of a 30-acre estate in the Grassland area of Franklin with a 14-room mansion that measures a ten-gallon hat sized 11,143 square feet and includes 5 bedrooms, 7 full poopers and two more half-poopers. The recently completed property was dubbed Bella Luce by its developers. A few clicks on the keyboard of our trusty laptop computer reveals Bella Luce is I-talian for, "beautiful light," which means the light up there on that hilltop where the house sits must be awful purdy. The unapologetically lavish property has received heaps and piles of attention in the last several months, both online where it was Luxist's Estate of the Day in early September 2009 and because of an exhibit/sale/event–also in September of 2009–of 23 "posthumously cast original bronze sculptures" by Rodin as well as works by a number of other artists.

Previous reports on the sale of the property reveal it was purchased for $9,200,000, which happens to be the exact same figure provided to Your Mama by Frannie Franklin who also told us, the children may be amused to know, that in addition to the nine and some million smackers part of Mister Chesney's big real estate deal included transferring the deed to his current Franklin, TN estate over to the seller. We can't confirm that bit o' deed bizness children, but we've got several reasons to believe Frannie Franklin and no reason to doubt her.

According to listing information and previous reports, the tile-roofed Tuscan style villa was designed by local architect Brad Norris and was built with 150-year old brick and sculpted stone, reclaimed walnut wood floors, Mesquite hand-carved doors, Sante Fe clay barrel tiles–whatever those are, hand-crafted iron light fixtures, hand-painted tiles, very expensive and labor intensive Venetian plaster walls, and a Crestron home automation system, which means Mister Chesney can close the curtains in his bedroom and turn on a movie in the media room while he's finishing up dinner in the kitchen.

The main rooms of Bella Luce include a leviathan living room/dining room combo with wood floors, a soaring ceiling with exposed Douglas Fir wood beams and trusses, a couple of custom Smart Car sized chandeliers, a wall of windows and French doors that open to the pool terrace, and two 25-foot high limestone fireplaces, one at each end of the room. Other main rooms include a den, billiard room, exercise room, and a colossal kitchen with double glazed cabinetry and not just one but three dishwashers. The kitchen is open to a family room area which has a wood beamed ceiling and a fireplace.

Each of the 5 bedrooms includes a private pooper and private porch or balcony. The master suite, according to listing information and previous reports, includes a gigantic boo-dwar with high beamed ceilings, sitting room, private portico, custom coffee bar, a plasma tee-vee that retracts into the ceiling (or the floor or the wall or wherever), dual custom fitted dressing rooms and two palatial marble and tile poopers that include such dee-luxe amenities as a 10-head shower with steam, music and programmable water temperatures. What a single man like Mister Chesney needs with two studio apartment sized poopers in his bedroom is beyond Your Mama's booze compromised capability of comprehension.

Some of the additional celebrity style amenities include a driveway nearly a mile long, an elevator that services all 4 floors–or five depending on where you read, three wood, Travertine, tile and wrought iron spiral staircases, a home theater with stadium seating, a sewing/gift wrapping room, a lookout tower, an infinity edged swimming pool and spa, over 3,000 square feet of covered terraces and walkways, several outdoor entertaining areas including an outdoor catering kitchen, private pond and dock, a 6-car garage equipped with heat and air-conditioning and, according to Frannie Franklin, a helipad, which ought to spare Mister Chesney any inconvenient commutes into downtown Nashville.

As far as we know from previous reports and from Frannie Franklin, Mister Chesney has shacked up in a 7,242 square foot house on 48.77 acres with 9 terlits on rural Peytonsville Road in Franklin, TN since records show he purchased it in September of 2003 for $2,500,000. According to Frannie Franklin and confirmed with property records, this property, which Mister Chesney allegedly traded as part of his purchase of Bella Luce, now belongs to the developer of Mister Chesney's new mansion.

In addition to his Nashville spread, Mister Chesney has long owned homes on the U.S. Virgin Island of St. John. In early 2008, Mister Chesney listed one of his properties, called Stoneridge House, for $14,000,000. Previous reports reveal the 10,657 square foot mansion on 1.7 acres includes 7 bedrooms, 7.5 poopers, swimming pool, spa, nearly ten thousand square feet of decking and unobstructed views of Caneel Bay and the island's north shore. The current status of the property is unclear to Your Mama. Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

The children may recall that Mister Chesney also owned a house in Malee-boo, CA for a about hot minute after buying a 3,723 square foot ocean view Mediterranean on Carbon Mesa Road in February of 2008 for $7,400,000 that he turned around lickety-split, re-listed at $7,950,000, and sold–bless his lucky heart–way over the asking price and at a million dollar plus profit in November of 2008 for $8,500,000.

The Malee-boo Mediterranean wasn't the first time Mister Chesney bought a multi-million dollar house and came down with an almost instantaneous case of the Real Estate Fickle. In January of 2009 the country crooner bought the historic W. Hunt Harris House in Old Town Key West, FL for $5,700,000 and before the ink on the deed was even dry, he flipped the 5 bedroom and 7.5 pooper property back on the market with an asking price of $6,495,000. Mister Chesney has not been so lucky real estate-wise down in Key West as he was in Malibu because the pretty and pristine property remains for sale with an asking price of $5,700,000.

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The Great Peter Guber Real Estate Sell Off Continues

SELLERS: Peter and Tara Guber
LOCATION: Sarbonne Road, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $16,250,000
SIZE: 4,324 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Over the last few years, large living entertainment executive and power producer Peter Guber and his Yoga fiend wife Tara have been thinning their fat real estate portfolio, which at one time included may-jer properties in some of the better zip codes of Colorado, Hawaii and California.

In the early naughts, Mister and Missus Guber put Mandalay Ranch–a scenic 650-acre spread in the Owl Creek Valley near star-choked Aspen, CO–on the market with a hair raising asking price of $63,000,000. The pristine property, according to previous reports, included a 15,000 square foot main house with 7 bedrooms, 7.5 poopers, and an indoor gym basketball court.

The Gubers caused a bit of a brouhaha with the local Pitkin County government in 1992 when they built two illegal guest cabins and a barn in a sensitive wildlife habitat. The Tinseltown titan and his legal eagles brokered a deal with the local officials that allowed him to keep the cabins but tear the barn down. After several years on the market, the pretty property, which includes easements that allow the ranch's resident snowcat access to the West Buttermilk and Two Creeks ski areas in Snowmass, sold in early 2004 for a whopping and, for then, record breaking $46,000,000.

A few years before Mister and Missus Guber decided to sell their Aspen ranch , in 1998, they forked over close to $7,300,000–or $7,500,000 depending on what report you read–for 171-acres of ocean front property on the Hawaiian island of Kauai. The real estate size queens went on to build a 13,154 square foot plantation style house with 6 or 8 bedrooms and 8.5 bathrooms including a master suite with dual poopers and, somewhat oddly, his and her living rooms because, you know, sometimes married couples don't want to be settin' in the same living room before going to bed.

Anyhoo, the palm tree peppered property on the northeastern shore of Kauai, which they not particularly cleverly named Tara Plantation, also included a couple of 4,000 square foot guest houses, stables for horsies, a tennis court, swimming pool, beach cabana, 3 bedroom caretaker's cottage, and–natch–a yoga studio where the Missus Guber could twist and tie up her body in complicated and uncomfortable looking yoga poses. By 2004, the Gubers decided to divest themselves of their sprawling Polynesian paradise and listed the estate with an asking price of $46,500,000. The posh property lingered and languished on the market for years before the asking price was dropped to a still stomach churning $39,500,000. That price chop in late 2008 must have brought out the big bucks buyers because shortly thereafter, the movie mogul's Hawaiian hideaway was sold–in late 2009–for $28,000,000. The buyer, whose identity remains a mystery, are not, according to what one report called the 'coconut wireless,' celebrities or household names.

Mister and Missus Guber's 10-year long real estate sell off continues in Los Angeles where they've recently listed one of their three adjacent properties in the swank enclave of Bel Air for $16,250,000.

As best as Your Mama can tell from a late night peek and poke around the property records and early morning perusal of previous reports, the Gubers began cobbling together their trio of posh properties back in May of 1991 when they picked up their primary residence from media magnate Grant Tinker for $7,200,000. At the time they purchased the 1978 Mediterranean, situated up a long, gated drive on 5.18 acres with big city views, it measured almost 7,000 square feet and included just two bedrooms and for poopers in the main house, a guest cottage tennis court, swimming pool, and a dance studio. Mister Guber, according to former Los Angeles Times celebrity real estate writer Ruth Ryon, planned on doing a bit of remodeling including adding a "bedroom wing" and possibly a funicular or some other hillside climbing transportation contraption, to connect the the estate to the recently closed for renovations Hotel Bel-Air, which sits just below the estate. Records currently on file with the Los Angeles county tax man show the residence now measures 13,933 square feet and inlcudes 4 bedrooms and 7 poopers. It does not appear that Mister Guber installed his fantasy funicular folly which would have reduced his commute to the the historic and eye-poppingly expensive Hollywood hideaway where everyone who is anyone has lunched on the tiled patio which has a dee-luxe and dee-voon radiant heat system installed for warming the tootsies on cool evenings.

Property records show that a couple of years later, in June of 1994, Mister and Missus Guber picked up a smaller property next door to their estate, which includes a 2,766 square foot house that, according to information we dug up on the interweb, has been transformed into a serene yoga sanctuary for Missus Guber and all her karmic contortionist pals.

Property records show the couple scooped up the third piece of their property puzzle in August of 1996 paying $3,600,000 for a 5.38 acre parcel and its 1959 A. Quincy Jones designed mid-century modern house. This is the property currently listed for sale with a price tag of $16,250,000. Your Mama does not know why the Gubers might have wanted to add a third property to their already huge Bel Air compound but according to the fine folks at Movieland Directory, the Guber's snatched up the property for use as and "arcade" for their children. Sweet jeezis, ain't life sweet when you've got pockets deep enough to spend millions of clams on a property simply so you don't have to listen to your children work the Wii or whatever damn video game system people played back in the late 1990s?

Property records show the existing house measures 4,324 square feet and listing information states the single story house has very high ceilings and includes 3 bedrooms and 4 poopers. Interestingly, the property is listed as being sold with just 2 nearly flat acres, so it would appear to Your Mama–who really knows nuthin' from a toenail about the details of the situation–that the Guber's have split the property and plan to keep the remaining 3 and some acres.

This is not the first time the Gubers have tried to sell their guest house or children's arcade or whatever damn thing they called the thing. Back in the fall of 2003 they fruitlessly listed the property on the open market with an asking price of $12,000,000. Apparently the Gubers later shopped the property around off-market because way back in late 2008 Your Mama heard from Belinda Belairrealestateagent who whispered the rumor that dee-vorcing super producer Brad Grey was thisclose to buying the property but, when push came to closing, opted out of the transaction.

Nearby neighbors include, according to property records, Star Trek's Leonard Nimoy, biznessman Lee Iacocca, the über contemporary white elephant owned by troubled tech entrepreneur Halsey Minor, and the former home of Red Skelton which Your Mama thinks–but is not certain–now belongs to Diana Ross' baby daddy, Motown founder Berry Gordy, Jr.

Megan Fox Gets A New House

BUYER: Megan Fox
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $2,942,500
SIZE: 5,200 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: In late November, sultry and sexual Transformers ack-tress Megan Fox went on the boob-toob and told the world that she bought her on-again/off-again boy-beau Brian Austin Green a red 1966 Ford Mustang Fastback. A few weeks later, according to Freddie Feedsusinformation who knows all things real estate in Los Feliz, Miss Fox also bought herself a new home in the Los Feliz area of Los Angeles for, according to property records, $2,942,500.

Listen children, Your Mama has never seen a Transformers movie nor do we intend to see one. Therefore, what little we know about Miss Fox is, for better or worse, based on what we've read in the gossip glossies and on the interweb. Our completely meaningless assessment of Miss Fox is that beehawtcha has a tendency towards verbal diarrhea, frequently whining to the press about everything including Transformers director Michael Bay, her absent boyfriend, the Hollywood grind, and how men are "scared of confident vaginas." Oh, lo-ward have mercy on Miss Fox. Your Mama will slap the sexy right off her 23-year old damn face if she starts complaining about the fat paychecks she pulls in from her crappy acting jobs that allow her to spend millions on a fancy new house.

Listen up her little Miss Fox because Your Mama is going to give you some free and sage advice about how to remain viable in Tinseltown when you've yet to reveal any real acting chops: Bitch and bellyache all you want to your friends and family about how terrible it is it be pretty and how tiresome it it to be compared to Angelina Jolie–who, Miss Fox, is actually an Oscar winning actress, something you'd be so lucky to be–but we suggest you put a sensor in your large-lipped mouth when talking to the press because listening to rich and privileged 20-something year old celebrities complain about their success tends to grate on fans' nerves like nails on a chalkboard and, at the rate you're going, you're going to blather your way to the graveyard of forgotten starlets.

Anyhoo, property records for the mini-manse Your Mama is told Miss Fox bought indicates the 1936 Mediterranean measures 4,052 square feet and includes 4 bedrooms and 5 poopers. Listing information for the recently re-worked residence, however, states the there are 5,200 square feet with 5 bedrooms and 4 poopers including a master suite with walk-in closet, private terrace and a spa-like bathroom with lots of Carrara marble, a free standing soaking tub and a terlit closet that, we are happy to report, has a window.

The house also includes a formal living room with fireplace and several French doors that open to a tiled terrace that runs along the back of the house, a formal dining room, family room, media/pool table room, and a newly done dee-luxe kitchen with wood floors, snow white flat-fronted cabinetry, a Hyundai-sized Viking range, Carrara marble counter tops, and a huge window above the sink with a view of downtown L.A. that is so lovely that it could probably even entice the Dr. Cooter–who avoids dishpan hands with a fervor akin to a middle aged first wife avoiding a much younger plastic boobied second wife–to do some after dinner dishes.

The walled and gated home, according to listing information, also has custom hardwood floors, dee-ziner poopers, restored vintage details, whole-house audio, panoramic views that stretch from downtown to the ocean, a pill-shaped swimming pool with several terraces and lawn areas surrounding it, and–natch–state-of-the-art security which means any of you moe-rons who have the dumb-ass idea to knock on Miss Fox's new door will be greeted with some serious and deserved unpleasantness.

It's unclear if Miss Fox's former fiancée and current man-friend Brian Austin Green, he of Beverly Hills 90210 fame, will be moving his underpants into her new digs but, given that he currently has his 1920s Tudor style house in the Hollywood Hills on the market at $2,395,000, there's a pretty good chance he'll soon need a place to park his Ford Mustang.

photos: William McCullum for Elite Property and Estates

Listen Chickens...

Your Mama's trusty laptop computer is giving us the devil today but we're endeavoring to bring you part two of our story about The Carhart Mansion. We apologize for the inconvenience but without the cooperation of our trusty–and apparently sick–laptop our hands are somewhat tied.

UPDATE: We managed to get Part Two of The Carhart Mansion piece out (below), but we very well may be without our laptop for a day or two. We'll keep you posted.

Let's Have a Look-See at The Carhart Mansion

Your Mama thought it might be fun–or at least fun for us–to begin 2010 with some good, ol' fashioned real estate porn. So jump on yer imaginary jets ands high tail it to Noo York City where it's currently quite cold and where we're going to have a look-see through the hallowed halls of The Carhart Mansion (above), an 87-foot wide neo-classical monster on tree-lined East 95th Street at Fifth Avenue.

The Carhart Mansion was originally designed by high society architect Horace Trumbauer in 1916 and expanded in the early naughts by Zivkovic Connolly Architects in association with much lauded London based classical architect John Simpson. The front facade gives the appearance of two side-by-side townhouses when in fact it is really one building containing four capacious condominiums. The Carhart Mansion is situated at the northern edge of the Upper East Side in what is called the Carnegie Hill neighborhood, which officially extends only one more block north to East 96th Street. In fact, The Carhart Mansion is so far north that some Upper East Side real estate snobs scoff and poo-poo its East 95th Street address as being far too far north for proper society and one high-nosed nabob Your Mama is acquainted with once hissed in our ear that, "The Carhart Mansion is so far north it might as well be Harlem, darling."

Listen puppies, don't be fooled by the boorish but high-larious bon mot offered by Ned Nabober. In truth, the block of 95th Street immediately off Central Park is a super swish enclave lined with elegant, well-preserved and substantial townhouses that drip with architectural gravitas and are inhabited by some of the hoitiest of New York's toitiest and certainly the charmingly musty, long standing but somewhat anachronistic geographical real estate rules strictly adhered to by many old-school Upper East Siders have not stopped big names and even bigger bank accounts from setting up house in the four capacious condominiums carved out of the two conjoined and aristocratic edifices that are swathed in Indiana limestone and heavy with historic, elaborate and deeply dignified architectural articulation.

Now then, buckle your seat belt babies because Your Mama feels a long wind blowing through our gin sotted mind. Let's begin at the bottom and work our way up from the triplex that encompasses significant portions of the basement, first and second floors and up to the doo-plex penthouse with its six–that's right chickens, you read that right–six terraces. The main entrance to The Carhart Mansion is through carved wood doors–opened by a round the clock doorman, natch–to a small entrance vestibule that in turn opens to a short flight of stairs that leads to the main lobby where a private concierge sits quietly and patiently waiting to perform every beck and call of the few and economically privileged residents.

The Triplex
The first apartment Your Mama is going to discuss and work over is the triplex unit that encompasses significant portions of the basement/garden level, first, and the second floors. Property records reveal the unit was purchased in March of 2006 by Kathryn and Kenneth Chenault who laid out a breath taking $21,500,000 for their titanic triplex maisonette. Mister Chenault, currently the Chairman of the Board and CEO of American Express, earns nearly 30,000,000 clams a year which explains how he and the wifey can afford to buy and maintain unimaginably dee-luxe digs that measure, according to marketing materials, 14,550 square feet of interior space and include another 1,720 square feet of private garden and terrace. Altogether, the apartment includes 15 rooms, an prairie-like 1,100 square foot living room, 5 bedrooms–including a elephantine 1,100+ square foot master suite with two clothes-horse friendly dressing rooms and a 5-star pooper–4 additional private poopers and another 5 powder poopers. Other numbers to ogle over are the apartment's 21 closets, 5 fireplaces–plus a sixth decorative one, 3 sizable storage rooms, and 2 butler's pantries–one on the kitchen level, one on the dining room level–conveniently connected by a dumb waiter.


The children will notice that the Chenault's colossal condo has no fewer than four separate public entrances: A door that opens directly into the apartment from the main lobby of the building; A private elevator that services all three floors of the apartment as well as the main lobby which sits, roughly, halfway between the basement/garden level and the first floor; Via a door on the street that opens to a vestibule that leads to the library as well as the condo's palatial stair hall; Another door that opens from the street into a double height "chamber alcove" with a set of tightly winding stairs that give access to a second level bedroom. This bedroom, with its private entrance, is well suited to dee-luxe staff quarters for someone like Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter's rough talking house gurl Svetlana who will threaten bodily harm if made to sleep in a closet sized room behind the kitchen or possibly as guest quarters for folks like Your Mama's bff Fiona Trambeau who has a bad habit of bringing rough trade home after a long night of booze imbibing and hip swiveling.

The lowest level contains some of the less formal rooms and service areas including an approximately 600 square foot eat-in kitchen with two walk-in pantries and a Volkswagon sized work island, a family room that, like the kitchen, also opens through French doors to the private garden, a trio of storage rooms, an exercise room–which could probably be used as a staff bedroom if necessary, laundry facilities and three of the apartment's five powder poopers.

In addition to the Manhattan 2-bedroom apartment sized living room, which opens to a terrace through four French dooors, the main level offers soaring ceilings, scads of original architectural detailing, a charity event sized dining room, over-sized stair hall, library, 2 powder poopers, and a bedroom sized bar area that serves as passage to a window lined gallery that leads to a nearly hidden den at the front of the building.

The triplex's second floor encompasses all five of the bedrooms including the aforementioned master suite and staff/guest bedroom with private entrance. Additional there are three more bedrooms, each with private pooper, and and a flex use room with adjacent powder pooper that could be utilized as a second home gym, play room, children's study center or possibly as a bedroom for the least favored child.

According to property records, lavish living Mister and Missus Chenault also own several other homes including an estate in New Rochelle, NY and a nearly nine-acre spread in Sag Harbor, NY–that's the Hamptons, babies–they bought in March of 2001 for $7,450,000.

The Doo-plex
Just above the Chenault's triplex is a rambling doo-plex currently owned by corrugated cardboard tycoon Dennis Mehiel–a mover and a shaker in the Democratic party–and his wife Karen who, according to Property Shark, purchased the condo in September of 2005 $15,500,000. It might be interesting for the children to know that a few years before the Mehiels scooped up their jumbo condo at The Carhart Mansion, they were reportedly rejected by the board at The Dakota, arguably Central Park West's most desirable and difficult building in which to achieve residency. However, there does appear to be a wee bit of evidence that Mister Mehiel–or at least a Mehiel family member–was given the thumbs up by the board at The Dakota.
Anyhoo, just three years after buying and doing up the doo-plex, Mister and Missus Mehiel hoisted the 17-room condo back on the market in August of 2008 with a rather shocking price tag of $35,000,000, which–according or bejewled abacus– is nearly 2.5 times what they paid. Your Mama does not profess to be any sort of an expert about anything let alone ultra high-end real estate in New York City but given the state of the economy, which was slip sliding away in August of 2008, that seems like a rather, uh, optimistic number. A few months later, in October of 2008, the Mehiels de-listed their doo-plex and re-listed it 7 and some months later with a new real estate broker and a new but laughably lesser asking price of $34,900,000. Then comes along mid-September 2009 when the Mehiels and their real estate people chopped a hefty $5,400,000 from the price leaving it at it's current figure of $29,500,000.

According to listing information, The Carhart Mansion's doo-plex sprawls across the entire 3rd and 4th floors, contains 17 rooms that combined encompass 10,530 square feet interior space. The Mehiel's major mansion-condo proudly claims The Carhart Mansion's parlor floor, which provides shockingly high 18-foot ceilings in all the major rooms.
As best as Your Mama's beady little eyes can tell from studying the floor plan (above), the apartment has two public entrances: An elegant marble staircase that climbs from the building's main lobby to a landing that opens into a good-sized gallery, and the building's public elevator, which opens directly into a foyer that, in turn, gives way to the good-sized gallery. The parlor floor includes an stuh-ning 1,100 square foot, wood-paneled living room with fireplace and a trio of French doors that open to an impractically slim balcony overlooking East 95th Street, a cozy library with fireplace, a dining room with another fireplace and some of the most marvelous murals of dark woods that Your Mama has ever laid eyes on, and the kitchen/breakfast room/family room combo space that includes a fourth fireplace and access to a hallway where the wet bar, powder pooper and media closet are located. The remainder of the parlor floor is devoted to the massive master suite.

Originally, according to marketing information, the Mehiel's tremendous two-floor unit included 5 bedrooms–3 on the parlor floor and 2 on the second level–and 5.5 poopers plus two staff rooms on the second level that shared a single pooper. The Mehiels have reconfigured the condo so that there are now, according to the floor plan accompanying the current listing, 4 bedrooms and 4 full and 2 half poopers. Two of the family bedrooms on the parlor floor were merged into the master suite which altogether includes a double height bed chamber with a private staircase to the second level, an office that overlooks the triplex unit's private garden, 2 dressing rooms, 2 additional closets and two poopers, one modest in size the other larger and far more swank than Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter's entire master suite.

The second level, accessed via a curving stairway from hallway on the parlor floor that unfortunately splits the master suite into two sections, includes two family bedrooms each with private pooper, a media/play room, and a study/home gym. The two bedrooms and single pooper originally designed as staff quarters, located down a long, closet-lined "L" shaped hallway, has been re-made into a guest room or, if the owner has an ounce of humanity, a properly sized staff room. The hallway continues beyond the guest/staff room to an approximately 19-foot by 13-foot, windowed laundry room that would make our hard working but mouthy house gurl Svetlana pee her apple-bottom jeans with glee and satisfaction.

Your Mama came up a wee-bit empty handed when looking for additional residences owned by Mister and Missus Mehiel. While Mister Mehiel is often referred to in the media as based in Westchester County, NY and although we did find a trio of adjacent properties in tiny and monied Armonk, NY with Mister Mehiel's name attached, but those properties also have the name of his ex-wife attached so we're not quite sure what's what with that, but we'd chew glass dipped in bhut jolokia powder if Mister Mehiel and current Missus Mehiel don't have one or more additional residences is ritzy locations like Palm Beach, Aspen, the Hamptons and Westchester County.

Stay tuned, my little cherry pies, for part two when we'll hash out the remaining two condos at The Carhart Mansion.

photos and floor plans: Brown Harris Stevens, Street Easy, Corcoran

Your Mama Hears...

...from Los Angeles real estate über-insider Donatella Dontchaknow that every one's favorite vanilla flavored, 2-time Oscar winning actor Tom Hanks (Charlie Wilson's War, The Da Vinci Code franchise, You've Got Mail, Saving Private Ryan, the Toy Story franchise, Forrest Gmp, Philadelphia, Turner & Hooch and, back in the early 1980s, the unforgettable cross dressing comedy Bosom Buddies) and his lovely but not nearly as successful actress wife Rita Wilson (It's Complicated, The Chumscrubber, Perfume, Runaway Bride, and Jingle All the Way) are splashing out for a newer, bigger and better pad in Pacific Palisades, CA.

The Wilson/Hanks, long time residents of the upscale enclave just north of Santa Monica, have long resided in a 6,289 square foot manse on Corsica Drive that prop records show includes 6 bedrooms and 5 poopers. But big is apparently not big enough for these two. According to Donatella Dontchaknow, the Wilson/Hanks are forking over more than $20,000,000 for the very contemporary mansion of prolific super producers Frank Marshall and Kathleen Kennedy. Five-time Oscar nominated Mister Marshall and 6-time nominated Miz Kennedy, both long time associates of uncommonly fecund filmmaker Steven Spielberg, have played a part in the making of films like The Bourne Identity franchise, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Munich, Seabiscuit, The Sixth Sense, Schindler's List, the Jurrassic Park franchise, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, The Color Purple, the Indiana Jones... franchise, Poltergeist and E.T., just to name a few.

Property records show the Kennedy/Marshall's hilltop house, which hovers high above the ritzy Riviera neighborhood, includes just 4 bedrooms and 5 poopers in 14,513 square feet. The three story house has a gated and tree-lined motor court, a prairie like terrace and swimming pool, a half circle of green lawn, sweeping views, and with it's swooping, curvilinear facade, arguably has more in common architecturally with Richard Meier's Getty Center than it does with the average Pacific Palisades property. As it turns out, the house was designed by Gwathmey Siegel & Associates with interiors, we're told by someone who would know, by L.A. dee-ziner Louis Ortega.

Property records don't yet show a transfer of deeds so all this remains just rumor and gossip at this point but, butter beans, y'all should know that Donatella Dontchaknow never steers our celebrity real estate boat in the wrong direction.

According to property records and Celebrity Address Aerial, Miz Wilson and Mister Hanks own several properties in and around Pacific Palisades including a 4 bedroom and 6 pooper fixer on Amalfi Drive, two adjacent properties on Embury Drive and a recently renovated ocean front getaway behind the gates of the celeb packed Malibu Colony that records reveal was picked up way back in April of 1991 for $2,950,000.

Your Mama has no idea where the Kennedy/Marshalls might be moving, but they certainly don't lack for posh properties in which to shack up. Property records reveal that in addition to their big house they're selling to the Wilson/Hanks, they also own a ski house in Telluride, CO, an ocean front house on Malee-boo's star-lined Broad Beach Road and a New York City 2 bedroom and 2.5 pooper pied-a-terre at The Berkeley House–a posh pre-war dowager on Central Park South–that previous reports reveal they bought in the spring of 2007 for $2,695,000.