Sunday, May 17, 2009

Apparently, LeAnn Rimes Ain't Got Nothin' Better to Do Than Sell Her Brand New Mansion

SELLER: LeAnn Rimes
LOCATION: King Richards Court, Franklin, TN
PRICE: $7,450,000
SIZE: 13,380 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 6 full and 3 half bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Designed and executed perfection! 360 views, smart house, salt water pool, second kitchen, media room, yoga/workout room, custom woodworking , 5" plank hand distressed wood floors, custom master closets, guest quarters, wired for studio - a must see!

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: In early 2008, country pop prodigy LeAnn Rimes and her backup dancer huzband Dean Sheremet listed their house on bizzy Hillsboro Pike in Nashville, Tennessee for around $2,400,000. Then word got out that the Grammy award winning singer and her happy footed huzband were spending big bucks building a massive mansion in a guard-gated and Medieval themed community in Franklin, TN called Avalon. Visitors who pass through the main gates to Avalon are greeted by a large replication of King Arthur's sword driven into the stone and all the streets and courts in the community have silly names like Lady of the Lake Lane and Road of the Round Table. Ugh. Just take a moment to soak that in children. Seriously, who wants to live on street named King David's Court? We understand that like Tessie Tura, Miss Electra and Miss Mazeppa say in Gypsy, "You Gotta have a Gimmick," but Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter both find this gimmick is simply too gimmicky.

Anyhoo, in early September of 2008 we heard from one of our spies in Nashville that the Rimes' had finally completed and moved into their new house on King Richard's Court. In the first days of 2009, Your Mama heard from Little Miss Muffet that Mister and Missus Rimes finally sold their house on Hillsboro Pike. Property records show Mister and Missus Rimes received $2,130,000 for the 5 bedroom and 5.5 bathroom love nest when they sold it to a ladee named Dixie Carter who is the president of TNA Entertainment which produces tons of that wretched professional wrestling crap that so many people seem to enjoy.

Then, in mid-March of 2009, there were all sorts of salacious (and incriminating) photos and video circulating on the tabloid television shows and the gossip blogs that showed married Missus Rimes shooting tequila and kissing on hunky married actor Eddie Cibrian in a Santa Monica, CA Mexican food restaurant. Almost immediately Mister Rimes twittered, "I Love My Wife!!!" and soon both Missus Rimes and Mister Cibrian denied any illicit doings. But, of course, it's not so believable to say you weren't macking on each other when there is actual video of you sucking face, right?

Fast forward to late April of 2009 and Mister And Missues Rimes are spotted making out in a Mexican restaurant (what's with Missus Rimes fetish with getting frisky in Mexican restaurants?) and are yapping to the press people about how great their relationship is. And maybe it is. However, thanks to a southern belle we'll call Mrs. Mockingbird, Your Mama has learned that the young marrieds have heaved their brand new house in Franklin, TN on to the market with an asking price of $7,450,000. While the Rimes' might be selling this house for a thousand different reasons (i.e. maybe they don't like living in such a big house), the timing is certainly suspicious to all us gossip and rumor mongers and doesn't lead Your Mama to believe Mister and Missus Rimes are indeed the two little lovebirds sitting pretty in their newly built mansion outside Nashville they would like us all to believe.

Property records show that in 2006 the then teen aged couple splashed out an undisclosed amount of money to purchase a 5.21 acre hilltop property within the gates of Avalon where they proceeded to build a three story mansion that listing information reveals measures in at 13,380 square feet and in addition to 360 degree views includes 4 bedrooms and 6 full and 3 half bathrooms. That is a lot of damn terlits for Mister Rimes to keep clean.

Listing information shows the house, which is actually in a gated community within the gated community of Avalon, includes a formal living with high ceiling, fireplace and appealing super-sized herringbone patterned wood floors that work well as an effective counterpoint to the more traditional moldings. Thank heavens someone thought to put that orange and yellow abstract thingamabobby above the fireplace which keeps the whole white thing from looking like it's trying to be a damn waiting room for angels. The formal dining room is surrounded by tall windows and is lit by two contemporary chandeliers and a strange clerestory situation directly above the glossy black wood table.

A 550 square foot kitchen stretches to 29-feet long and includes all the big appliances expected in a house like this including a 60" big daddy range and one of the home's four wine refrigerators. There is also a large den, a media room with a big white leather sectional sofa and a lower level that includes entertainment spaces and a second kitchen with a stone back wall,super high gloss wood cabinets and a chandelier that looks to Your Mama like it might be made of feathers but probably isn't.

Upstairs, the 400+ square foot master bedroom features a raised ceiling and walls painted a very soothing shade of grey that perfectly matches the grey and white bed linens. The master suite also includes a fireplace, private access to a large wrap around covered porch, custom walk in closets (natch) and an all white, window wrapped master bathroom with marble floors, a shower for two with glass on three sides and French doors opening to a covered porch on the fourth and a chaise lounge where Your Mama pictures Mister Rimes clipping Missus Rimes' toenails post-soak in the water trough shaped freestanding tub.

Other amenities, according to listing information, include guest quarters, a yoga/work out room, smart house technology, wiring that would allow a music studio to be installed, custom woodwork and 5" hand-distressed wood floors. The gated and fully fenced grounds are accessed via a swooping driveway that rises to a large circular driveway. Out back, the imposing, glassy and over-articulated rear facade looms over a large terrace and an infinity-edged salt water swimming pool.

Early this morning we received a second covert communique from Mrs. Mockingbird who whispered in Your Mama's big ear that word on the terribly named streets of Avalon is that Mister Rimes is the only person currently living up in that big new house. But that's just rumor and gossip, kids, rumor and gossip. Whatever is happening for these two, Your Mama sincerely wishes them well in their next home(s). We just hope there's a damn good pre-nup in place or Missus Rimes is going to be supporting Mister Rimes for the rest of her life.

top photo: Pacific Coast News

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