A Wee Bit O' Monday Morning Mish-Mash

We have found ourselves a bit swamped lately with a variety of projects that distracted us and occupied a bit more time than we expected. So we are bee-hind. In an effort to catch up on a few celebrity real estate tidbits, we're going to work up a little mish-mash this Monday morning and clear off a few bits and real estate pieces we've yet to get around to.

1.
Let's begin with some chit-chat about the really weird real rumors that Real Housewives of Atlanta's bewigged bee-hawtcha Kim Zolciak might be moving to Los Angeles. Here's what Your Mama knows about that particular piece of scuttlebutt: It's not true. Yes, the chain smoking and wine swilling dee-vorcé was recently spotted lunching around Lala Land with Million Dollar Listings' hairtastic real estate agent Chad Rogers but, according to our knowing informant Willie Willingtotalk, the rumors ain't nuthin' but rumors and Miz Zolciak and her 79,000 hair pieces are staying put in her Atlanta, GA area townhouse condo...for now.

Given their chummy–and odd–coupling, Your Mama would bet our long bodied bitches Linda and Beverly that if the one hit wonder does decide to go west in search of fame and fortune, she'll most certainly employ Mister Rogers to find her a suitable home where she can park her Bentley and store her chardonnay.

Property records show that Miz Zolciak purchased her 3,396 square foot, 4 bedroom and 4 pooper townhouse in Duluth, GA in January of 2006 for $486,000.

2.
One of the many big name victims of fiendish financier Bernie Madoff's Ponzi scheme sins was kooky and campy Zsa-Zsa Gabor and her nutty ninth huzband Prince Frédéric van Anhalt.

Oh dear jeezis in heaven, these two antiquarian lovebirds are kuh-wite the pair. She once slugged a police officer who had the audacity to stop her for speeding through the street of Beverly Hills in her Rolls Royce and, in addition to claiming he might be Anna Nicole Smith's baby daddy–he's not, in 2007 he used his mobile phone to ring the po-po who found by the aged Prinz on a leafy street in Beverly Hills in his Rolls Royce, naked as the day he was born, claiming he was robbed by a trio of ladee robbers who sped off with his wallet and jewelry in a Chrysler convertible. That sound believable, right? According to the not always very reliable Wikipedia, these two wackadoodles have together adopted not just one, but four adult men. One is said to own a brothel, another to own a strip club or two, a third to owns health clubs of some sort and the fourth is a surgeon who prefers not to be identified. So you know, they're a little, uhm, peculiar these two.

Anyhoo, according to a recent report in the New York Post, Miz Zsa-Zsa and her Prinz lost as much as $10,000,000 of their nest egg that was invested with the Machiavellian Mister Madoff. At the time Mister Madoff's money mess was uncovered, the usually quite gregarious Prinz van Anhalt fretted that their long time mansion in Bel Air might be threatened and it seems his real estate fears may have come true. According to the NY Post, Miz Zsa-Zsa and her Prinz have had a $118,000 tax lien placed against their Bel Air Road residence. An unpaid tax lien can force the sale of a property if the debt is not paid.

This is not the first time that 90-something year old Miz Zsa-Zsa and her Prinz have been in a bit of a financial pickle as regards their Bel Air Mansion. In October of 2002, according to property records, a notice of default was filed on a $1,500,000 mortgage secured by the property. That matter appears to have been cleared up.

Property records shows Miz Zsa-Zsa and the Prinz's mansion measures 6,393 square feet and includes 4 bedrooms and 5 bathrooms. Their nearby neighbors include soft-porn purveyor Joe Francis–he of the Girls Gone Wild fame and fortune, PayPal founder Elon Musk, billionaire Kirk Kerkorian's former second wife Jean Kerkorian, and radio and tee-vee icon Art Linkletter. Just down the road a short piece are Salma Hayak and her luxury goods mogul huzband Henri-Francois Pinault and the former Marion Jorgensen property that Transformers tycoon Michael Bay recently scooped up for $10,900,000 and is in the process of knocking down in order to build another house that Your Mama expects will probably be about as big as a boo-teek hotel.

3.
Listen chickens, we try to steer clear of dishing and discussing Michael Jackson's family because, frankly, we just find them all kinds of crazy to the point of being toxic. All the publicity seeking, money grubbing and glad handing just makes Your Mama want to puke. Had Your Mama the opportunity, we'd probably start flapping our jaw at Jermaine and Tito and some of those other Jackson family members telling that they need to go get a damn job instead of suing and scheming to siphon money out of The White Lady's estate. Iffin the now deceased King of Pop had wanted his father and brothers to be taken care of financially, he would have accounted for them in the will. But he didn't. So man up Jackson people and move on. Your financial gravy train has done left the damn station.

Anyhoo, like so many other b-, c-, and d-list celebrities who have to scratch and claw to make a living, LaToya Jackson has had some real estate troubles of late. According to previous reports and public records, her 1,876 square foot condominium at the Regency Towers inside the Las Vegas Country Club in Las Vegas, NV was was snatched away from her in foreclosure proceedings.

According to public property records, unnaturally narrow nosed Missus Jackson bought the Bel Air Drive condo way back in 1996 for $260,000. Over the years the singer/ack-turuess/Playboy model/author/psychic friend took out loans secured against the property totaling nearly $750,000. All was well until August of 2008 when a Notice of Default was filed on the 27th floor condo which was scheduled to be sold at auction on the 31st of December, 2009. She was seen in the days before the scheduled auction seen squirreling her possession out of the condo. What's all kids of bee-zar to Your Mama is that Lady LaToya has been recently photographed around town behind the while of a very expensive Bentley. Can someone explain to Your Mama how this bee-hawtcha can afford to drive a damn Bentley but not pay her damn mortgage?

It is Your Mama's understanding that Miz LaToya lives in Los Angeles now. We've always read that she lives in Bel Air, but according to Mirakle Mike, she shacks up in a condo in one of the tall apartment towers that line Wilshire Boulevard near Westwood and Century City. We can't confirm that with a second source, so we do not recommend of of y'all trotting out that real estate tid bit in an attempt to impress your friends because it just may not be accurate. Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

3. It's no secret that Oscar winning actor Nic Cage is having some financial, uhm, issues. He's got about 12 luxury houses around the world and they are all up for sale or, in the case of his two historic mansions in New Orleans, have been lost down the rabbit hole of foreclosure.

Several months ago, leins were placed against the properties and late last week the properties were sold at auction. Both properites were bought by the Alabama based Regions Bank who paid $2,300,000 for his Royal Street residence and antoher $2,200,000 for his Prytania Street mansion. Two down, another 8 or ten to go.

Mister Cage, who reportedly made upwards of $40,000,000 last year, claims that his bizness manager Samuel Levin is to blame for his one-time free flowing river of cash drying up and has filed a $20,000,000 lawsuit against Mister Levin claiming he stuffed his pocked with millions in management fees while allowing Mister Cage to cook his own financial goose with his excessive spending on a dozen or more luxury properties including two castles in Europe and a private island in the Bahamas, several boats, a private plane, exotic animals, rare birds, dozens of vintage automobiles that he kept in a private hangar at the Santa Monica (CA) airport, and a dinosaur skull for which he allegedly paid $276,000.

In all fairness, he is also known to be exceedingly generous with friends and was reported to have given a million bucks to the Red Cross to aid victims of Hurricane Katrina in 2005 and another two million clams to Amensty International in 2006.

It's said that Mister Cage has let some of his staff go–such as the full time car mechanic and the full time chef and as far as we know, Mister Cage has now managed to sell a Newport Beach, CA mansion, a two-unit combo condo in Manhattan, a Bavarian schloss and a townhouse on The Circus in Bath (UK). He is currently in contract to sell his 11,817 square foot Bel Air mansion which was last listed with a price tag of $17,500,000.

Recent reports indicate his bff Johnny Depp may step in and give Mister Cage a financial helping hand.