Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Anyone Want to Sleep in Pauly Shore's Bed?

OWNER: Pauly Shore
LOCATION: Solar Drive, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $15,500/month
SIZE: 3,0124 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Quality Occupants sought for 4bd/2ba Hills home on private/gated drive w/ ample parking.Promontory setting with stunning downtown to ocean views. Updated throughout w/ Limestone & Hardwood floors, Tiled Baths, Wired for Sound, Kitchen has Granite Tops, Stainless Steel appliances and Bamboo Island. Separate Master suite complete w/ Large Walk-in. Available Furnished or Unfurnished. Common areas allow the outdoors to be brought in as collapsible doors invite gentle breezes & fresh air views!

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Listen puppies, sometimes celebrity real estate pickins are slim and today is one of those days. So bear with us while we debase and defile our already not very dignified self and briefly discuss the Hollywood Hills house being offered for lease at $15,500 per month by much maligned and not particularly funny comedian Pauly Shore (Encino Man, Bio-Dome, Minding the Store).

Although Mister Shore may be a colossal show bizness jackass who goes around calling himself "The Weasel" and making spectacularly unfunny movies in which he fakes his own death (Pauly Shore Is Dead) in hopes of reviving his dead, dead, DEAD! career, he still gets to sit in comedy's royal box due to the fact that his mother is comedy queen Mitzi Shore who owns The Comedy Store on the Sunset Strip where legendary comics like Roseanne Barr (or whatever she calls herself nowadays), John Belushi, Andy Kaufman, Sam Kinison, Richard Pryor and many other funny folks worked their actually funny stuff.

Mister Shore has long lived high in the Hollywood Hills on not easily accessed Solar Drive in a low slung modern house which property records show he purchased in May of 1996 for $1,150,000. The gated property, accessed by private drive, occupies a promontory with spine tingling 270 degree views of Runyan and Nichols Canyons, the (not very inspiring) downtown skyline and the glittery lights of Tinseltown below. Records and listing information indicate the updated house measures 3,024 square feet and includes 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms (the listing description says 4 bedrooms).

Listing information indicates the house has been wired for sound (nice) and features both wood and limestone floors, tiled baths, granite counters and stainless steel appliances in the kitchen (natch), and floor to ceiling collapsible doors that open the house up to the massive concrete patio surrounding the newly built infinity edged swimming pool and spa. Listing information also indicates the house can be leased furnished or unfurnished. But let's be honest children, who wants to spend $15,500 per month to rent a house with a dining room furnished like the damn breakfast room of a Best Western motel on Interstate 80 and bedroom furniture that looks like it might have been purchased at Ikea? Pleeze.

Mister Shore's nearby neighbors include oil scion and adulterous actor Balthazar Getty (Brothers and Sisters) and Australian actress Sarah Wynter (24, Windfall) whose house is also available for lease at $7,800 per month. Next door to Mister Shore is horror film director Wes Craven (Scream 1-4, A Nightmare on Elm Street) who sued Mister Shore earlier this year claiming construction of Mister Shore's swimming pool compromised the directors property and caused slope failure. As is customary in the U-nited States, Mister Shore filed a counter suit claiming Mister Craven did not maintain the slope properly which caused (or contributed) to the slide. The un-neighborly neighbors have reportedly reached a tentative agreement settling the case before it went to trial.

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