UPDATE: Nicollette Sheridan and Michael Bolton

Like it or not children, we're going to discuss Michael Bolton and Nicollette Sheridan this morning. We just can't help it. We're masochistic that way.

If the children dig deep into the recesses of their minds they'll recall that back in November of 2007 we discussed an ivy covered house in Hidden Hills, CA that was listed by Academy Award winning rock and roll lezbeeuhn Melissa Etheridge and her baby mama wifey Tammy Lynn Michaels with an asking price of $4,995,000.

Then in May of 2008, thanks to our ever resourceful cohort Lucy Spillerguts, we learned that the buyer of Melissa's mansion was none other than Desperate Housewife Nicollette Sheridan who, at the time, was humping around with washed up crooner Michael Bolton. Records show the 6 bedroom and 6.5 bathroom residence cost Miz Sheridan $4,320,000.

When August 2008 rolled around, we next discussed Della Acqua, Mister Bolton's long time Westport, CT compound which he'd flung on to the market with an $11,000,000 asking price.

Since then, the couple have split. Normal people logic would have each retreating to their own coast. However, celebrity break-ups are seldom that simple, particularly when there's high priced real estate involved.

This morning, as we're sifting our way through the morning's gossip rags, we note with interest that the NY Post reported in today's Page Six column that the former couple are waging a bitter battle over the house in Hidden Hills which, according to Page Sixers, they purchased together.

According to the NY Post's sources, only two days after Mister Bolton packed his Tumi cases and moved to Hidden Hills to be with his ladee-friend full time, Miz Sheridan kicked his ass to the curb. Oh dear. Two days!

Apparently Miz Sheridan, who is already rumored to be dating unlikely ladee magnet David Spade, wants Mister Bolton gone from the Hidden Hills house and, according the the NY Post, thinks that even though they paid for the property jointly that Mister Bolton should give his half of the house to her like she deserves some sort of real estate parting gift.

If it's true, that beehawtcha has got some serious balls. Let's be honest puppies. Was there really any doubt about who wore the designer pants in that relationship?

Exactly.