Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Mariah Carey Buys West Coast Crib

BUYER: Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon Carey
LOCATION: Antelo Road, Bel Air, CA
PRICE: around $7,000,000 (allegedly)
SIZE: 11,750 square feet (approx.), 5 bedrooms, 8 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Magnificent gated private view estate on 3 acres. Incredible site. Prime Bel Air address. Staggering 360 degree vus of entire city.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Turns out all the hoopla, head spinning and spilt ink regarding music super star Mariah Carey buying couture queen Suzanne Saperstein's near mythic mansion in the Holmby Hills area of Los Angeles was just that...hoopla. That certainly comes and no surprise to Your Mama who never imagined that the wild and wonderfully kooky Miz Saperstein would ever allow her real estate baby to slip into the hands of a woman likely turn her heavily gilded ballroom into a hair and nail salon and stuff her boo-dwar with a bunch of Hello Kitty crap which is, apparently, one of the whistle stop wonder's preferred decorating motifs.

According to our sources Allez Oup as well as the legendarily knowledgeable Lucy Spillerguts, Your Mama has learned that Miss Carey and her huzband Nick Cannon Carey dumped "around seven million" smackers on a house high in the hills above Bel Air that once belonged to poster princess and original angel Farrah Fawcett, who is, bless her pap hating heart, being ravaged by the cancer even as we type our fingers to the nubbins.

A peep into and a poke around property records reveals that Miz Fawcett sold the Antelo Road residence back in 1999 to a prolific and Grammy winning music engineer/producer named Allen Sides who has used his pin sharp musician's ear while working with music masters like like Eric Clapton, Faith Hill, Mary J. Blige, the incomparable Joni Mitchell, Ray Charles, Ella Fitzgerald, André Previn and that freaky (and deceased) Frank Zappa dude to name just a few. No doubt, the man has crossed musical paths with Miss Mariah a time or two as well.

Thanks to Our Fairy Godmother in Bel Air, we've learned that Mister and Missus Sides listed their dee-voonly secluded 3-acre estate above Stone Canyon in August of 2008 with an asking price of $9,500,000. Before long, the asking price had been sliced, diced, slivered and slashed to $6,995,000 and shortly thereafter the property was removed from the open market but was still, we understand, shopped around off-market. Then along came Miss Mariah who, records show, quietly closed on the property in early April of 2009 for an as yet undisclosed sum of money.

Property records show the sprawling, multi-winged mansion measures 9,951 square feet with 6 bedrooms and 7 bathrooms. However, listing information we managed to get our grubby mitts on shows the house spans 11,750 square feet (approx.) and includes 5 bedrooms and 8 bathrooms. We don't know why the discrepancy.

Anyhoo, listing information shows that in addition to all the bedrooms, terlit rooms and seven fireplaces, the 2-story center hall traditional includes formal living and dining rooms, den, family room, lanai, library/study (as if), media room, office, an eat in kitchen, and while listing information does not say so, we would not be remotely surprised to learn there is a recording studio on the property. This would, obviously, be a wonderful convenience that would allow Miss Mariah to warble and slide up and down every note on the damn scale without ever changing out of her robe, which we'd bet our long bodied bitches Linda and Beverly is one of those shorty numbers that barely covers her nether regions.

The grounds include two motor courts, a huge rectangular swimming pool with a pool side pavilion, a large brick terrace with long views down the rugged canyon towards downtown Los Angeles, several flat lawn areas, a gazebo, and three gated entrances, all of which Your Mama can assure the children will be secured with armed sentries prepared to pepper an automobile with a curtain of bullets should anyone be stoopid enough to try and peer through Miss Mariah's tall hedges. Don't even think about it children. Seriously. If you think Ellen Degeneres is serious about her security, then you ain't seen nothing compared to the pretzeling Miss Mariah's burly men will do to anyone who gets nosy enough to cruise on by hoping to catch a glimpse of Our Lady of the Micro Mini and Hair Extensions.

In New York City, Miss Mariah still owns a tremendous triplex apartment in TriBeCa and down in the Bahamas, she owns a multi-acre ocean front compound on guard gated Eleuthera Island where the soft sands are, natch, Miss Mariah's favorite color, pink.

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