Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Another Housewife Biting the Real Estate Dust?

Oh dear.

According to the ever-intrepid folks at gossip juggernaut TMZ, another of the supposed to be rich housewives from Orange County is embroiled in another real estate fracas. This time it is the sweet but entirely too tan "jewelry" designer Lynne Curtin who was, just today, served with a three day notice to perform or face eviction by her Laguna Beach, CA landlord.

That's right chickens, her landlord. Apparently Miz Curtin and her building contractor huzband Frank rent their house in laid back but exorbitantly priced Laguna Beach and, according to the eviction notice, the couple owe their landlord $12,363 in unpaid security deposit, late fees and unreimbursed moving expenses. The homeowner also claims that the utilities to the house have been turned off because the Curtains have failed to pay them and, because real estate drama often arrives in threes, a real estate agent is huffing and puffing that she never received the $2,500 commission owed to her for arranging the lease for the Curtins.

Your Mama does not actually know where the Curtin's new crib is but we do know thanks to Lucy Spillerguts that until sometime in June of 2009 Mister and Missus Curtin occupied one half of a duplex condo property on Camino Capistrano in Dana Point, CA.

Now listen children, Your Mama is certain that Mister and Missus Curtin or their spokesperson will shortly put out some sort of statement that this is all some sort of mistake and the check got lost in the mail and that it's already all cleared up or some such thing. And we sincerely hope that's the case because we never like to see anyone turned out of their (rented) house.

However, we do have a beef with booze swilling tee-vee show host/Senior Vice President of Production and Programming Andy Cohen and his casting minions at The Bravo who can't seem to find actual rich people to star in their Real Housewives of... franchise which is supposed to be about actual (nouveau riche) rich people and their disturbingly profligate ways and not cash-strapped couples who spend in the most frivolous, indiscriminate and vulgar manner even though they're not paying their mortgage. That is, not paying their mortgage iffin they even have a damn mortgage.

First was former mortgage broker and wannabe housewife Slade Smiley from the Orange County version whose home slid into foreclosure back in early 2008.

A few months ago, hot and spicy housewife NeNe Leakes in Atlanta was rumored and reported to have been evicted from her rental house last year. She sorta denied it.

More recently Lisa Wu Hartwell and her former footballing huzband Ed were tossed from their pond fronting multi-million dollar mansion in the St. Marlo Country Club community in Duluth, GA after defaulting on their mortgage. Their reps claim the couple tried to restructure their mortgage but since the house had lost a ton of value the bank said, nay. They have, according to their peeps, settled in a new house on 10 acres that they own.

Let's not forget recent dee-vorcee She by Sheree Whitfield whose suburban Atlanta manse was foreclosed earlier this year because, she claims, she was clueless about the fact that her mean ol' ex-huzband Bob was not paying the mortgage. We'd bet our long bodied bitches Linda and Bevelry that there is more to this story than She by Sheree is saying.

Then there's former Playboy Playmate turned real estate pusher Jeana Keough who somehow managed to restructure several mortgages she has on several pricey properties in Orange County and currently has her eight terlit spread in the gated community of Coto de Caza listed with an optimistic asking price of $4,900,000.

Next up is thinks-she's-the-hottest-housewife Tamra Barney and her tequila selling huzband Simon who have their Ladera Ranch, CA tract house listed as a short sale at $1,149,000. They paid $1,320,500 for the 5 bedroom mock-Mediterranean in August of 2005. Of course, they're spinning the situation like they don't mind eating the loss so they can take advantage of a weak housing market and buy a foreclosed property or a buildable lot where they can erect a new and better faux-Tuscan tract house.

And then there is woman-with-a-past Danielle "Beverly Merrill" Staub in New Jersey who admitted during an early segment of that series that she's about two minutes and a Range Rover payment from financial ruin because she and her ex-huzband can not come to terms on the details of their acrimonious dee-vorce.

And let's not forget that hot-tempered, curly-haired baller Teresa Giudice in New Jersey who pays for everything with a wad of cash as big as a roll of terlit paper. Now, it can certainly be argued that if table tossing Teresa is humping around Franklin Lakes with a couple hundred grand in her designer handbag she's rich. However, iffin anyone were to ask Your Mama, and of course no one did, we're suspicious because, pleeze, let's be honest, who does that–on national tee-vee for chrissakes–if they ain't trying to prove something to somebody?

Next up? One of those bonkers behawtchas in New York? Have mercy.

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