Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Your Mama Hears...

...from B.H. Hillsanddales that former singer/reality tee-vee star turned ack-turuss Ashlee Simpson and her Fall Out Boy rocker huzband Pete Wentz are fixin' to list their big Mediterranean manse in the Beverly Hills Post Office for sale with a price tag somewhere around $4,995,000.

The children who have not fried their minds on the dope may recall that Miss Simpson scooped up her one-time bachelorette pad in January of 2007 for $4,500,000. Listing information we have on file for the property (yes, chickens, we have files) shows the 5,896 square foot, four floor hillside house contains 4 bedrooms and 4 poopers including a master bedroom with his and her bathrooms and dressing closets. Other celebrity style amenities include a walled and Zen-ish courtyard, media room, gym, gourmet kitchen, several terraces for nekkid bun sunning and, sitting far, far, far below the main house, a swimming pool and fully detached two-story guest house overlooking a canyon.

After purchasing the property, according to B.H. Hillsanddales, Ash forked over a couple hundred grand for improvements including some designer done and award winning Asian themed landscaping by garden guru Jon Goldstein that features a stone Buddha or two, a fire pit, fountain and a few other things all too common to the gardens of famous folks.

B.H. Hillsanddales also whispered in Your Mama's ear that Mister and Missus Simpson-Wentz have been out house hunting for for something more family friendly and possibly even a little smaller in Encino, CA where Mrs. Wentz owned a huge home before she snatched up her current digs. Encino isn't Your Mama's cup of tea but Mrs. Wentz has owned a home in Encino before and it's where her parents Joe and Tina Simpson reside in the 5 bedroom and 7 terlit mansion on Hayvenhurst Drive at which Mister and Missus Wentz were united in marital bliss last year.

It's been widely rumored and reported that Mister and Missus Wentz's marriage is on unstable ground but Your Mama does not know nuthin' about that. What we do know is that the young, flame haired mother has lately been making the pages of all the tabs and gossip glossies for her drunken "misunderstandings" and (allegedly) picking public fights with Pete. Unfortunately, listing their dee-luxe digs in the Hills of Beverly isn't exactly going to squash those rumors of a messy marriage but keep in mind children that in the world of rich and famous people one plus one does not always equal two, so we'll just have to wait on pins and needles to see what transpires.

Prior to hooking up and making babies with Miss Simpson, boy kissing Mister Wentz owned a house on Palo Vista Drive in the Hollywood Hills which he sold in Sept. of 2008 for $1,600,000. (It had been listed at $1,799,000.)

As an aside having nothing to do with real estate, Your Mama would like to offer those poor Simpson sisters a little unsolicited career advice: Dump yer daddy as your manager. Yes, he did create both of your careers right out of thin air and kudos to him for that because it was truly a Herculean feat. But let's be honest ladees, what's he done for you lately? Not much, that's what. The ill-fated Melrose Place redux? Pleeze. Major Movie Star? Have mercy. Seriously, think about it. Sometimes shaking up the management team is a good way to breathe some fresh air into a stale and stagnant situation and, at the risk of sounding insensitively harsh, both of your current careers are nothing if not parched, threadbare and sitting right on the precarious precipice of oblivion. Sorry darlins, we just calls it like we sees it.

photo: Pacific Coast News

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