Where, Oh Where Will Wills and Kate Live?

If one is to believe the tabs and gossip glossies, all of England, half of America and at least one-quarter of the world cares about little else besides the newly wedded Duke and Duchess of Cambridge–that would be Prince William and his dignified but common new wife Kate. One of the issues to currently concern the media is into which royal palace in London the Duke and Duchess will settle down and make royal babies. So then, for better and worse, shall Your Mama be concerned, at least for a moment or two.

It was reported recently in the Daily Mail (and elsewhere) that The Queen of England, probably while standing, flanked by aides and wearing a hat, gloves, handbag and stiff monochromatic suit, generously offered Buckingham Palace accommodations to Wills and 'The Girl.' Can't you just picture ol' Lizzie calling Kate Middleton 'The Girl?' To her face. So naughty we can't stand it. (Of course she does not call the duchess ' The Girl.')

The report in the Mail went on to snitch that the Duchess of Cornwall–that would be Prince Charles's wife Camila–(allegedly) balked at the newly married pair bunking at Clarence House–her house or, rather, her husband's house–where Wills has long maintained a shared spread with his baby brother Prince Harry. The Daily Mail claims Prince Wills also nixed the dour fortress-like St. James Palace where he maintains his office.

That leaves, according to the Daily Mail, Kensington Palace where Wills grew up with his internationally beloved and, ultimately, tragic mother Diana, Princess of Wales. Di, during and after her marriage to Prince Charles and before she perished dramatically in an accident inside motor tunnel in Paris, occupied two adjacent apartments at Kensington Palace. The apartments where several other royals–including the very tall and very grand Princess Michael of Kent–maintain residences as well as a number of high-placed staff of the royal household.

The Daily Mail provides a fascinating aerial photograph of the sprawling Georgian palace with a key to the residents of some of the many apartments that make up the palace's multitudinous private wings. The Telegraph, a more respectable media outlet, reported last week that the new and slim-hipped duchess desired the massive apartment where the Countess of Snowden–that would be The Queen's younger sister Princess Margaret–lived until she went to meet her king in early 2002. But alas, the Duchess's real estate dreams were dashed as Margaret's newly renovated and lavish apartment will continue to be available on tour and as an event rental as it has since 2004.

The Daily Mail suggests two other smaller and available apartments in the palace as possible options or, better yet, the fully detached (and allegedly vacant) Nottingham Cottage since it includes a small private garden perfect for a royal swing set. Either way, according to The Telegraph, the first nest of the duke and duchess will only be temporary until they square away more permanent living circumstances in London.

Once the smiley young royals return from their hotly anticipated dip into the west coast of the United States–where they'll attend a party in a private residence in Los Angeles' Hancock Park–Your Mama presumes that whatever palace it will be in which they lay their heads in London the toothy and wholesome-looking couple will continue to spend much time hunkered down in the modest cottage in (Anglesey) Wales where the prince flies search and rescue helicopters for "work" and where they have lived (in unmarried sin) the last 10 or 12 months.

Not then, can we all just put away our cameras and interest and let them go quietly on about their business of visiting hospitals, cutting ribbons and waving in parades?