Weekend This and Thats

1.
Your Mama's a little late to the rodeo on this one, but in case y'all missed it, details about porn purveyor Bob Guccione's old Manhattan townhouse–bought by hedge hog Phil Falcone and his wife Lisa Maria for $49,000,000–are starting to seep out of the limestone.

Among other ridiculously dee-luxe amenities, the Falcone's 25,000+ square foot double-wide townhouse mansion will have two elevators–one for the staff, natch–a swimming pool, and a press room. No puppies, that's not a room for on-site publicity peeps, but a room in the basement where Lurleen the Laundress will spend her days and nights ironing sheets and working the stains our of the Falcone's napkins and undergarments.

Another tidbit about the townhouse that Your Mama found inneresting, is that one of Missus Falcone's two dressing rooms will include a wet bar just in case the ladee of the house feels like getting drunk while getting dressed. Lo-urhd knew we do sometimes.

2.
Brace yourselves butter beans because another "housewife" from The Real Housewives of New Jersey has hoisted her hideous home on the market.

Earlier this week a listing for too tan Teresa Giudice's church of conspicuous consumption popped up that showed her mansion listed at $3,999,999. Tee-tee subsequently tweeted that her mansion of marble is not for sale and the online listing has since vanished. Make of that what you will.

This time it's former stripper turned suburban soccer mom turned sex tape maker Danielle Staub. Miz Staub, a woman who comes off on her reality program as being about as stable as an earthquake, had her house on the market in the fall of 2009 for $1,495,000. It's now back on the market at with a hugely reduced asking price of $1,095,000.

Maybe Danielle and Tee-tee should consider going in together on an affordable two-family in Union City or something. Ugh.

3.
The deal is reportedly done on property developer Mohamed Hadid's insanely ginormous Bel Air mansion Le Belvedere. However he's being a bit cagey on the final sale price of the 10 bedroom and 14 pooper property telling the L.A. Times only that the buyer paid between fifty and $72,000,000.

Transaction records have yet to clear but while peeping and poking around the public property records this morning, Your Mama unexpectedly turned up an unexplained name on some recent records, that of a man named Sarp Turanligil. A quick search on the interweb indicates there is a man named Sarp Turanligil who is the chairman of Divan Hotels, a Turkish hotel group.

Listen puppies, Your Mama is not sure if the Mister Turanligil shown on the property records is the same Mister Turanligil of Divan Hotels. We're also not sure if Mister Turnaligil's name showing up in the property/title records is some sort of error, if he was an investor in the property, loaned Mister Hadid money, or if perhaps he's the deep pocketed buyer.

Basically we don't know nuthin' other than that name now appears on the property records. Time will tell and we shall see.

UPDATE: Records show the house transferred for fifty million clams.

4.
Although he may be living there all by his lonesome, the very contemporary Jupiter Island, FL home being built by bed hopping professional golfer Tiger Woods looks like it's nearing completion. Like his nearby neighbor Celine Dion's new Jupiter Island home/water park, Tiger's got two side by side swimming pools too.

Tiger's spread includes a 10,000 square foot main house and a 9,500 fitness facility that recent reports reveal will include an oxygen therapy room, whatever the hell that is.

5.
Legendary country crooner–and plastic surgery victim–Kenny Rogers has hoisted two Georgia mansions on the market. One beast of a house in the Buckhead area of Atlanta previously carried and asking price of $7,950,000 and is now listed at $5,900,000, and another, a kind of Polynesian paradise sort of place located just outside of Athens, is listed at $3,200,000.

6.
In other Hotlanta celebrity real estate news, actress/activist/fitness video maker/born again Christian Jane Fonda listed her Atlanta, GA loft condo a just over a month ago with an asking price of $4,500,000. Somebody must have hit her with the sensible stick because thanks to Georgia Justwantsyalltoknow Your Mama has learned that Miz Fonda Vadim Hayden Turner has slashed the price of her 4,700 square foot doo-plex by a whopping $2,000,000. The 3 bedroom and 3 pooper condo with it's bee-zar womb-like entrance hall is now listed at a far more reasonable $2,500,000.

Your Mama's west coast sources say that big, bad Barbarella has leased herself a dumpy 1 bedroom apartment in the star-studded Sierra Towers building in Los Angeles where her neighbors include other old-school divas such as Cher, Elton John and Joan Collins.

UPDATE: Teresa and Joe Giudice

Something is fishy in fancy pants Franklin Lakes. Or, rather, something is amiss about 15 miles away in the not quite as affluent town of Towaco, NJ.

Your Mama has just learned from Tittering Tina that earlier today The Real Housewives of New Jersey's resident table turner and phrase maker Teresa Guidice too to the Twitter and tweeted, "MY HOUSE IS NOT FOR SALE!!!" This despite an online listing for Tee-Tee and her huzband Joe-Joe's elephantine faux chateau that clearly showed the Giudice family spread for sale with an asking price of $3,999,999.

That's right butter beans, Tee-Tee says her mausoleum like mansion of marble and onyx ain't for sale. Well, hmm...maybe Tee-Tee and Joe-Joe's monster mansion is not for sale today, but according to the listing Your Mama saw and scoured on Realtor.com, the Giudice digs were in fact first heaved on to the open market on the 20th of May, 2010. That means the Giudice's property was for sale for three whole weeks before Tee-Tee and Joe-Joe got around to asking the alleged listing agent(s) to remove the allegedly erroneous listing from the interweb.

Here's the thing. While it ain't none of no body's bidness but their own, least of all Your Mama's, we just can't help but wonder how Tee-Tee and Joe-Joe are planning to keep that particular roof over their heads. According to their October 2009 bankruptcy filing, the couple carries a hefty mortgage of at least $1,700,000 secured with their titanic Towaco mansion. A few flicks of the well worn beads on Your Mama's trusty, bejeweled abacus shows that at current rates, a mortgage that size adds up to something just over $10,000 per month.

It doesn't take a mathematician–or even a very smart person–to see that a mortgage of 10 or 11 grand a month far exceeds the $6,583 per month in pre-tax income Tee-Tee and Joe-Joe claimed on their bankruptcy filing. There is also, don't let's forget, that extra ten grand a month the Giudices claim to get as gifts from family members. However and by Your Mama's rudimentary calculations, even when adding up their claimed income and their gifted income, after the gubbmint takes their pound of flesh and the fat mortgage gets paid, the notoriously profligate pair will have barely enough dough left over buy their bedazzled brood of screeching gurls Happy Meals at Mac-Donalds.

Your Mama fears that, as our not yet fully rehabbed gal pal Fiona Trambeau often says, "It can only end in tears, it can only end in tears." We shall see.